I am having a bit of an angry day today. It happens from time to time. I merely remark upon it to justify, in advance, the somewhat hostile tone of this post. The reason I shall persist with it, though, is because I feel it is appropriate in this case.
It's a quick issue. But it gets to me and needs to get out. And it is this: Most of my friends are in the age range 18-30. (As one would expect). All of these people have had childhoods of varying strictnes, control and parental intervention, ranging from little to great. You must ALL be aware, though, of how terrible a life under the latter would be.
Yet then why do I hear you declare that when you have kids, you are going to be similarly tough on them? DONT YOU LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES??? Being tough on people never works. it just makes them hostile towards you, and makes an enemy out of someone you could otherwise have co-operated with. Here's my approach to parenting (God forbid I ever need to use it myself, but here goes)
Teach your kids fucking decent communication skills, so that they can always be honest about what it is they want. Then communicate well and reach an informed decision about the best way to proceed, instead of forcing your authoritarian will on them. When your parents did that to you, what did you do? That's right - you went out anyway. You had sex. You drank alcohol. You smoked pot.
And your kids will do the same.